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Monday, April 08, 2013

Holiday! YEAH! Time to get fat! LOL!

This mid-sem break is meant for me to prepare for the test after the break and to settle down my internship. So hmm....i think i was hoping to do internship overseas is kinda impossible as my lecturer only allows us if there are 5 or more students are being offered to the same location. Sigh...there goes my promise to somebody...well i'm still going to try and see whether there is an exception if its Singapore. I think it's almost the same thing if compared Singapore to Penang right?

I sacrificed my first weekend of my break for a camp organised by Eaglepoint. Command S basically is about teaching us how to Go and Make Disciples, which is also the life mission of a christian. I personally felt that it is practically very useful or suitable for me at this point. Spending my first weekend of the break there is indeed worthwhile.

This is the first time of me coming back home after this sem starts in February. My mom welcomed me with a bowl of home cooked chicken soup. Mummy I lub you muacks. I think im gonna be fat again when i go back TT.  Anyway i think my hectic schedule is coming back again. Assingment, tests and presentations. The life of a student.

I never knew that i would go against my principle, which is to be involve in a LDR.  I think indeed being totally independent really taught me alot. 

 

Friday, February 08, 2013

The Challenge

Continuing from my previous post.

I think only a few people are aware of this part of my life, not even my parents. As I'm not a person who would pour out my troubles to other people, so many would think that i'm happy and satisfy with what i have now. Probably in many people eyes, i'm always that high achiever in school academic or many other things. But of course, i'm a perfectionist. I have a high expectation for myself and thus also for others. I always demands the best in whatever i do. I guess the nice way to put it is high self expectation, and the more direct way is "Kiasu". This is a familiar word in both Malaysia and Singapore context. I used to think that the spirit of "Kiasu" is only for losers. But now i think if you don't have that spirit, you must be prepared to lose. I know we should be contented with what we have, but to what level? To be contented is a nice way of saying, having no life goal is a more direct way. Some might be rolling their eyes when i said so. But, I guess the true value of satisfactory depends individually. Some people might think that if you are never satisfy with anything, you are just pure greedy. Well, different people have different expectation i must say, and some are indeed a bit more greedy. Anyway, this post will acts as a reminder for myself when i looked back after 10 years or more, i'll be able to understand God's goodness in my life.

Let my story begins.

I always have this dream of pursuing my tertiary studies overseas since young. I always have the thought to abandon Malaysia when i got the chance. I always think that there is no point for me staying on Malaysia when it is still categorise as a developing country after 56 years of independents. Look at the economy growth of Singapore and South Korea, why they could achieve such growth in a short period of time but Malaysia is moving at relatively slow speed? Of course no country is perfect. However, i believe that Malaysia would had been better than the state we are now in. I grew up as a Malaysian Chinese, I need to be honest to say that i always feel that I'm a second class citizen in many aspect despite the fact the Malaysia Government kept promoting the "1 Malaysia" concept. Hence, I decided to worked hard to achieve good results in SPM in order to get a scholarship that can fulfill my dream which is to get out of Malaysia asap,  but like many other non-bumiputra Malaysians, the competition is tough. After SPM, i failed to secure the JPA oversea scholarship because having 8A1, 2A2 and 1B3(My target was straight A1) was not good enough. So my dream was dashed, when i saw that B3 next to my mother tongue. I had no choice but to stick with STPM due to my family financial limitation. I did not give up, but rather i worked even harder. I didn't appeal for Matriculation, because i think that i could learn much more in STPM.

After STPM, which i only had myself to blame for not working harder, with the pointer of 3.5/4.0, i hope that there would be a miracle for me to get into Singapore Universities. But apparently, the doors are shut. I still remembered i prayed hard everyday. But i think God is still not yet done with me, as in He thinks that i need more trials and challenges (my way of comforting myself). Knowing that i'm only left with the option of local public university, i still have to accept it, because i know my parents couldn't afford to send me to private colleges. Because at the same time they need to send my brother to college as well. My brother is not a study type of person, so taking STPM is just a waste of time for him. My parents sent him to MMU for foundation studies and straight to degree, hoping that this would be a better path for him. As in comparison, i'm more of the able to study type so i'll just have to accept the course offered by local university. My first choice was dental studies or any other health care related studies. But judging from my cgpa, there is zero hope for me to get a place into dental school or healthcare related courses in public university due to the way the higher education system select students. I was left with no choice but to fill up my 8 choices with options where my cgpa fits in and after the fifth choice i just anyhow filled it up. Still God has another tougher road for me.

I was offered Bachelor of Science and Technology Studies in University of Malaya.  I don't even remembered filling up that as an option, so i checked back, and to my surprise i did lol. Not knowing what is that course about, so i checked through all the forums for more info, but there are only a handful of chinese enrolled in that course so no info at all. Even now, in my 2nd year, i still have no idea what is that course about. If you don't like, change course lah! Yeap, that was what i said to myself. So i gathered some info regarding changing of courses. I gave myself a semester to try to be interested in it, but i think its just not where i should belong. Although i don't really like that course much, but i'm still able to score well like i did for my history paper during SPM lol. Not trying to brag, but i thank God for this special talent in me. Probably this is why he thinks that i'm up to the challenge. Hmm...maybe lol. After the first semester, i applied for course changing. According to seniors experiences, the highest possibility... is to change courses within faculty. After a semester of looking through all the courses, i decided to switch to Bachelor of BioHealth. This course sounds better right? And it does looks like something related to healthcare lol.

I waited and prayed really hard asking that God would open up the door for me. Before i entered my 2nd year, i received the letter from the student enrollment department regarding my application for change of course. I have to admit that, it is definitely a heart breaking moment when i saw that i did not succeed. But, what to do? Do i cry over it? Yes i did. Am i sad n disappointed? Of course. I blame God?  Yes, in my heart silently for a minute or two. I feel hopeless? Yes. But what's next? Quitting? NO, DEFINITELY NOT! I'm not a born quitter, but an achiever!

I was indeed having a hard time for the 1st two weeks of semester. I still remembered, i nearly burst into tears on the first class during the 2nd week during lecture. Because i just simply don't like it and have no interest in it! I think after so many times of rejection and failures, it's fair for me to at least let it out once ya? I almost wanted to quit, but at the same time I'm a JPA scholar, i can't say quit as in i feel like it. There will be a lot of paper work needed to be done, and i'm too lazy to solve those problems, and if i really did quit what am i suppose to do next? Like i mentioned earlier on, my parents won't be able to afford to send me for any dental or healthcare related courses in private colleges. So i just have to suck up all my emotion and carry on. I'm quite lost actually, even till now. But this semester, by God's grace i drew a lot closer to my other coursemates. So, i think that just helped me to get passed all the emo-ness in me.

Another person who gave me strength other than God, is my discipler-Miss Yeo Bee Yin. It's definitely God's will for us to meet! We shared many things in common, and i know she is an example that i could follow. After reading her testimony, i gain a lot of strength and hope despite the rocky journey i'm going through now. Read her testimony here. She does influenced me a lot.

I am never the politics kind of person. During my first semester, I'm still having the thought of i must quickly finish 3.5 years and ciao, because i think that staying put in Malaysia is hopeless. Just like i had mentioned above, in comparison to our neighbouring country-Singapore, Thailand or even Vietnam, i'm quite disappointed with what Malaysia achieved in these 56 years of independence. We did had our glamorous moment, but there's a Chinese saying 好花不常开,好景不常在, meaning that good times doesn't last. I'm certain that many people do know that Malaysia is turning into/already an international joke! The availability of social medias, many of us are very well aware of that. Of course some people tends to exaggerate those news but some are really true. Being one of the most corrupted country. The definition of gay by our ministers? The list just goes on and on. Being a qualified voter, i'm not even interested to vote at all. Because to me, voting either party is still the same. One side having all the corrupted politician, another having all the greenhorns. I think that its useless to vote anyway, just let Malaysia be as she is now. But after much understanding from Bee Yin on her passion for this nation, i suddenly realised that there are actually many others who actually gave up their high pay job and good life to come back to Malaysia, because of their love for Malaysia! So between the two options, i think i know where i should place my vote.

Since God had to shut so many doors to keep me here, i think there is much more than just making me to be more obedience to Him. I think it's time for me even as a normal student to think more for my country. Probably i can't make much change for my generation, but for the future generation, i should take up my part as a Malaysian. Be more concern in politics, and make a change! If we as Malaysian don't even want to take the effort to make a change, who else can you aspect help from? As a future taxpayer, i would never ever let my hard earned money to end up in those useless corrupted politicians pockets! So, if you are still one of those who thinks that Malaysia politics is non of your business, you better start changing your mindset! Politics is actually the core of the country, everything is so related to it. I'm not telling you who you should vote, but hoping that you will be more concern for your country. If you truly love your country, then it's time to make a stand and make a change!

Of course, i'm still pursuing my dream to study in overseas. Working hard so that i could get another scholarship to ensure that comes true. But i'm going to make good use of my time here in Malaysia as a Malaysian, so that when i'm in another country i can proudly say that I'm from Malaysia!


   

Revival of my blog!!!

Finally i got some time to blog some of what i went through for my previous semester. From the level of me abandoning my blog, you can tell how busy i was lol. Anyway one word...busy lah. I really doubt what time would i be able to complete this blog from all the disturbance around me eg whatsapp, facebook, twitter..lol

Anyway, I did say i wanted to do a recap of last year, but apparently my new year was spent in the mist of my study week...of procrastinating. LOL!

So, this is my second year in UM! Well im a senior now of course...hmm no special feelings though, maybe a little bit older i guess XP. So, before i entered my 2nd year, i received the letter from the student enrollment department regarding my application for change of course. I have to admit that, it is definitely a heart breaking moment when i saw that i did not succeed. But, what to do? Do i cry over it? Yes i did. Am i sad n disappointed? Of course. I blame God?  Yes, in my heart silently for a minute or two. I feel hopeless? Yes. But what's next? Quitting? NO, DEFINITELY NOT! I'm not a born quitter, but an achiever! After some time of struggling, i decided to take whatever comes my way. I shall continue this part of my struggle in my next post. Now moving on!

After entering Uni, i'm glad that i still share room with my previous roommate and another new roommate from Sarawak a Catholic. I thank God for all his arrangement for me to meet this sister and the privileged to grow in Christ together with her. I think i got quite a lot of story to share regarding my uni life as well. Probably i'll go into details about the angels that God send to me during my varsity life in another day, too much things i would like to share.

I also took part in one of the college activity, in which i get the opportunity to learn 24 seasonal drum (二十四节令鼓). I think it is a great experience, and i'm glad that i have the opportunity =). I also went to victory weekend organise by my KL church-Eaglepoint. A great opportunity to refresh my life for God. A time to confess, a time to reaffirm my faith in Him and a time to understand my life purpose more. I started the one year bible reading plan in early september. It has always been in my mind, but sadly i always lack the motivation to start off and i hope that this time i could really stick to the plan. I guess this is also a challenge for me. As for the challenge to make disciple, it has always been a challenging task for me. I don't know how i'm going to carry out, but since my coursemate they are all non-christians, i pray that God will give me a platform to kick start.

As for my results, i must really praise the Lord for giving me his blessing every time. I'm a professional procrastinator. I only study during the eve of exam, rush my assignments last minute, prepare quiz/test the night before. Nevertheless, my God always lend me his hand in time when i need Him the most. I'm glad that after two semester, my cgpa still maintain at a relatively satisfactory range, hopefully after the 3rd semester it will not affect my dream to pursue my studies in a foreign land. I have been waiting for the answer from Him since form 5, and i hope after these years of hard work and faith i'll get a YES eventually. As the bible says: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who ask receive; the one who seeks finds; and to the one knocks, the door will be opened."  (Matt 7:7-8). "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (Matt 21:22). With these two verses, i have faith in him.

Can't wait anymore for Chinese New Year! But before that, there are some dearies i really need to thank!

To God,
Thank You for being patience, kind and merciful with this annoying girl for 22 years. This girl always complaint about things in her life. This girl doubted you numerous times. This girl bothers you even with the simplest thing in her life, especially with the mistakes she made by herself.  This girl whines whenever she thinks that life is unfair. The list will just go on as this girl life goes on. But this girl is truly grateful for all you have done for her, despite whether are those challenges, trials or hardship you put in her life or the blessing you showered upon her. Because she knows that from the day she surrender her life to you, you  will have control over her.

To Parents,
Thank You for raising me these 22 years. Thank you for tolerating my nonsense, craziness and barbaric behaviour. I know i'm not a daughter who is good with words of appreciation. I seldom say thank you and never once I love you. But thank you for all the support and teaching throughout my life. Thank you for believing me for whatever decision i make or action i take. This is one of the main factor for all of my achievements, because you made me believing in myself that i can do it on my own. Though i always think, if i'm born with a wealthy family background, then i don't need to make do with my current course. I would be able to do the courses i desire, probably even pursuing my degree oversea. But still i thank God for blessing me with you as my parents. Though you may not be rich, but you provide for my needs. Though you never ask how i did in school, but i know that you are confident in me. Knowing that we are facing some financial problem as both me and derrick is in uni now, but mom you always show me the example of trust and obey, and God will provide. Indeed, God's goodness never fails. He blessed me with a full scholarship, and i'm proud to say that i'm 100% financially independent now.

To Friends,
I must say i don't usually pour my problems to anyone of you, because i'm always told: "if I can't even solve the problem, who is able to do so?" I guess i just have to thank you for having such an high expectation in me lol. But still thank you for your accompaniment whether is through whatsapp spamming or sms or even daily crap talking, i do enjoy every moment i spent with you guys.

To LG members,
Thank You for all the Holly prayer session, yumcha, makan session. I never once in my lifetime experience such close bonding between strangers from different places. But i believe since we have the same God as our center, we are no strangers to each other but brothers and sisters. The visitation, powerful prayers and supper delivery during examination period was the warmest care i ever experienced. Let's grow in Him stronger everyday, and make disciples. 










Sunday, August 26, 2012

Holiday Wrap

What a long holiday, but i have been lazy to blog lol. But it is going to end in 2 weeks time, sobs. So, i'll just do a wrap up post for my holidays! 

In fact, i would say that i wasted my holidays, because i did nothing but to rot at home! Okay, maybe "rot" sounds exaggerating, after all i did did something lol. (that is not a typo mistake..if you think i did?lol) 

Alright, so in my last post i did mention about a bit or so about the beginning of my holidays. Continuing from there...

Holidays are always the best time to meet up with friends which you couldn't during other time. I'm glad that most of my close friends are studying in either local public or UK universities, hence our summer break coincide, and so we met up! I just realise that it has been a year when i last saw some of them, indeed time flies, but i don't really felt that i haven seen them for so long. 

My first ever vacation i had was a shopping spree in Singapore with karis and mei xuen during late June. We were just in time for the GSS, and i brought a cardigan from Cotton On, a pair of ballerina flats from Rubi and a tank top from Mango. I guess that wasn't really so called a spree lol....


Sitting by Marina Bay to enjoy the cooling breeze after a day of shopping! 


Look at our shopping trophies. 


The mini merlion. 


Le night view


Trying out the panorama shoot with my phone camera.

So that was in singapore and what took place in June. As for July, i practically really rot at home. I think the only think i did was that i've watched the Dark Knight and i finally tried Blackball.

 
Never had a chance to try when i was in KL, but i still prefer Snowflake lol. 

The annual youth sunday also took place in July. 


The dominos pizza celebration after all the hard work! 

Carry on with the exciting August
On the 4th-5th Aug, i went for the 30hour famine DIY camp and countdown. It is an event that is organise by World Vision, and the ambassador for World Vision Malaysia's 15th anniversary is Wang Lee Hom! 
In fact, I don't really experienced hunger that much compare to sleepiness and body aching. I actually slept during the concert before Lee Hom came out lol.  




Panorama shoot showing how many people were there. A total of 18.000 people attended the countdown. 


While waiting outside of the stadium before the concert starts.


Can you spot Lee Hom? 


A better view of him. 


Our break fast meal. Massimo bread + V-Soy soya drink.


My wrist band! Of course it is not 18cm wide lol. 

Taiwan steamboat with my mentor Bee Yin after the countdown. Located at Taman Desa. Thanks for hosting me while i was in KL these few days. I like their special sauce, must go again! 

Last saturday, i went to Melacca with Pei Wern to meet up with her Korean friends and Sally. All i did was eat and eat and eat! Because there is nothing i could do there.
 Me and Pei Wern at Melaka Sentral upon arrival. 

  I highly recommend this particular food, 流沙包. Something new and really yummy. Located near Melaka Raya. The name of that shop is 世界点心, if i'm right lol.

The korean girls visited Batu Pahat! We went for karaoke session! 


Nayoung singing was superb! Awesome! 

Must visit them in korea they said! Haha, sure when i save enough money. 

Alright i guess that was all up till date. Now i need to think of what i should take for extra curriculum. urgh! headache sia...  


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Holidaysssss

Finally, holiday at last. I'm having my term break now, in UK you may refer it to as summer break, but since in Malaysia we have only either sunny, windy, rainy or cloudy season ( apparently those are not consider as season), so i can never refer my term break to summer break. Anyway, not important la....as long as i have my holidays =)

So, i finished my test earlier than most of my friends, just lucky to have all my papers in the earlier weeks, but this also means that i had a super cramped and packed exam schedule. 5 days straight with 1 paper per day on the first week, heavy paper some more...but i'm glad that i can finally kiss goodbye to Ethnics Relations and TITAS. As usual i only started studying for all the non-science subjects a week ahead, and guess what? I think i nearly got crazy lol.

Haven't been blogging much, because nothing much happened in the past few months. Just some normal routine and lots and lots of test and assignments, so i'm kinda of busy.

*drums roll*
I finally got my first ever smartphone....Samsung Galaxy S2 in white! I think that most people sure knows how that phone looks like (just too mainstream)...if you really don't know, there's always Google (my assignments and tutorials' best friend). I still need to get a data plan to make it perfect!

How am i going to spend my holidays? Hmmm....i got tons of books and movies downloaded, and i need to get back to my exercise routine (can't fit into some of my shorts =( ). So, i guess that would last me for 2 months++.

Cheers people, happy holidays!!!!


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Screw you, screwers!


Fire burning and water boiling inside me this very second! I'm suppressing the urge scolding every single vulgar i know right now. Few things just pissed me off lately. 


First, there is a few of my assignment group members who screwed up the folio. Second, there is this person who never reply my text, and i need to get stuff from him by tomorrow. I'm not a very patient person when it come to things that is very urgent and important to me. So you better reply me by hook or by crook or i'll flood your phone with all my texts. Argh! 


As for those group members, you better make sure that the presentation can get back our marks. I just don't get it, why can't you pass up your work when the deadline had been extended.  

Friday, March 30, 2012

Happy Holidays peeps =)

Hola~ I'm once again back to my blogsphere...where there is only me, my blog, and......the fan...??...#foreveralone...Haven got the time to update my blog for really long time, as i was being tied down by tons and tons of stuffs, eg. lab, tests, college activities, choir, assignments, field outing, etc etc etc etc...so this explains why my blog is filled with spider webs. LOL....actually this whole while i've been crapping so you may just ignore it...too bad...you read already... right?! #trollllllll

Anyway i've got nothing much to post because out of my busyness, there is still busyness. So, fyi i took up to 8 subjects which total up to 16 credit hours. I'm applying for a change of course to biohealth, because i think that biohealth would be a much more interesting course to do than science and technology studies, furthermore, it got a shorter name. So, when people ask me what course i'm doing now i won't end up getting my tongue twisted.

Scenario when some random aunty see me:
......
Random A : So where are you studying now? (looks like some default question that people would ask even they asked before)
Me : Ermm...UM.
Random A: What course are you taking? 
Me: hmm...Science (thinks naively i can get away with this answer, hopping that they will stop..but...).
Random A: What science course are you taking? (my prayer never came true, and a tougher question follows...)
Me: hmm...(reluctant to answer)...science and technology studies ( try my best to answer in one breath..#LOL) 
Random A : huh? *amaze expression* (expected). What is this course about? ( top 1 question i hate to answer because...)
Me : ...actually i also don't know...
and blah blah blah...

Alright another reason that i want to change course is also because most people would know what is this Biohealth course about. So, i no need to answer so many questions.( Lazy me =P)

Anyway now i'm back for a week of mid semester break, a time for me to be away of a crowded and busy place. Hopefully can rest well and prepare for finals! chiong ah!!!!!!